★ World Premiere · Family-Only Drop

Gettin' Started (DJ Jorts Mix)

A custom rap anthem about one kid, one campus, and one truly regrettable pair of oversized denim jorts. Written, produced, and obsessively tweaked so Hogan can never say, “Dad didn’t try.”

📝 Read the Roast
Artist
Hogan (feat. DJ Jorts)
Genre
Comedy Rap · College Chaos
For
20th Birthday · Family World Premiere

The Hogan Lore, Condensed

This track covers it all: Pi Kapp, the Chicago Crew and the Florida/Colorado/Texas boys, Mahomes-level Chiefs obsession, denim that defies physics, and parents quietly wondering how they raised a walking yard sale in the rain. It’s a coming-of-age story told through bars, synth, and jorts.

Gettin' Started (DJ Jorts Mix) Cover Art
Now premiering in this living room only
Tip: Hit play and then stare at Hogan during the first “walking red flag” line.

Jorts Metrics

Jort Length: Spiritually below the knee.
Chiefs References: Loud enough to scare neighbors.
Cheese Mentions: Scientifically appropriate.
Embarrassment Level: Ideal for a 20th birthday.
Replay Value: Dangerous at family gatherings.

LYRICS

Full verses, hooks, bridges, synth breaks, and emotional damage. Follow along while everyone laughs with him. Definitely with him. Not at him. Never at him.

Hogan showed up at TCU like a walking red flag (yeah he did) Jorts swishing side to side like a busted trash bag (swish—swish) Pi Kapp chanting his name like a half drunk choir (Hoo-gan!) Chicago Crew with the Florida Colorado Texas boys turning up the fire (light it up!) He growing up but he still looks lost (still lost!) Hogan turning twenty with that golden hair all tossed (woo!) Into college with cheese in one hand and Chiefs rage loud as ever (go Chiefs!) Coming of age while embarrassing his mother forever (sorry mom!) Finding the new Hogan but the new Hogan still confused (uh-huh) Trying to glow up with them jorts looking abused (them jorts hurtin’) He lifting in the gym like a menace to himself (spot him!) Mirror selfies stacked like trophies on a shelf (click—click) Talking finance major like he plotting big deals (big moves!) But the only thing compounding is the cheese he steals (facts) KC Chiefs fan so loud he shakes the neighbors (run it!) Acting like Mahomes been slipping him favors (he wishes…) Shows up at tailgate in denim balloons (why?) Looks like a cowboy who lost a fight with his jeans too soon (RIP denim) Pool cue ready but his aim ain’t elite (nah!) Misses every shot while insisting it’s technique (sure bro) Hoops on his mind but airballs on repeat (clank!) Whole squad laughing as he shuffles his feet (move boy!) He leveling up but he still looks lost (still lost!) Hogan turning twenty with that golden hair all tossed (tossed like salad!) Walking campus with cheese in one hand and Chiefs pride in the other (King of dairy!) Trying his best not to disappoint his mother (do better!) Searching for the new Hogan but he still ain’t got a clue (search party!) Trying to boss up but the jorts say “man, not you” (sit down!) Pi Kapp legend but no one knows why (nobody!) He enters the room and the chaos multiplies (boom—boom) Chicago Crew linked with the Florida Colorado Texas guys (whole map!) Feels like a travel ad with questionable hair and questionable lies (mmm-hmm) Golf swing smooth till he swings too fast (fore!) Ball slices so hard it vanishes past (gone!) Nickname once Bink but now he goes by Hogan (Hogan!) Same dude, new name, still wonderfully chaotic and outspoken (preach!) Riding bikes for charity with a heart on display (respect!) Still showing up in denim that ruins the day (my eyes!) Parents Mike and Ashley laughing through the strain (stay strong!) Watching their son dress like a yard sale in the rain (brutal.) Growing older but his outfits say child (childish!) He grabs a lacrosse stick and the girls go wild (ayyy!) Learning life but barely keeping pace (slow down!) Trying to look grown with that confused face (what’s he doing?) He twenty now, so cheer, clap loud (make noise!) Hogan stepping forward looking overly proud (walk it out!) Jorts flapping loose like they ready to flee (fly away!) Still running his story exactly how it’s meant to be (let him cook!) And if he falls on his face, he’ll laugh and try again (run it back!) ’Cause Hogan’s just getting started, this ain’t even the end (not even close!)
Field Notes from the Blue Denim Committee

After decades of denim-related anthropology, the Blue Denim Committee has concluded that this single track captures the essence of Hogan more accurately than any standardized assessment, medical intake form, or college application essay.


It documents the transitional era: Bink → Hogan, childhood → adulthood, reasonable shorts → experimental jorts. Future historians may rely on this song as a primary source.

Press

Early “critical response” from an extremely serious collection of outlets, publications, and denim-focused institutions.

“A landmark achievement in the emerging jorts-core genre. Never before has one track documented a single pair of shorts, a single campus, and a single young man with such scientific precision.”
Denim L. Summers Senior Editor, Lower-Legwear Studies
“Finally, a rap song brave enough to admit that some shorts should’ve stayed jeans. A masterpiece of father-powered overproduction.”
Kirkland Fanny-Pack Music & Mild Concern Columnist
“If you’ve ever painted your face for a game and then worn something you regretted, this is your national anthem.”
Patty Mahomemade Chiefs Fandom Correspondent
“Hogan walks so the next generation of questionable fashion choices can run. Required listening for all new members.”
Lacey Hemm Social Chair, Denim Oversight Committee
“The most accurate musical depiction of ‘yard sale in the rain’ we’ve ever heard. We laughed. We worried. We pressed repeat.”
Barb Softrock Lead Reviewer, Mildly Concerned Moms
“A bold, cheesy exploration of coming-of-age, coming-to-college, and coming-to-terms with dairy and denim. This is not a song. This is field research.”
Colby Rhymez Staff Writer, Lactose & Lyrics

Industry Reactions

Leading experts, moguls, and extremely legitimate professionals weigh in on Gettin' Started (DJ Jorts Mix) and the wider jorts movement.

Major Label Insight

“When I first heard DJ Jorts, I stood up, walked out of my office, and fired my entire A&R department. Nobody’s topping this. We can all go home.”

Cliff Denimworth CEO, Universal Pants Group
Tech Billionaire Perspective

“I immediately invested eight million dollars into the jorts ecosystem. This song is the future of wearable culture. We’re pivoting the entire company to lower-body audio experiences.”

Harlan Zipfrey Founder, Pantleap Technologies
Fashion World Take

“The moment those jorts hit the hook, I knew haute couture was over. We’ve officially entered the Age of Denim. My next runway show is just twenty boys in Hogan-length shorts.”

Valentino Wrangleri Global Director, Jeanscience Institute
Talent Scout Reaction

“I’ve managed stars for forty years. Nobody has ever embodied raw chaotic potential like Hogan in jorts. This track is dangerous in the best possible way.”

Margo Flashman Senior Scout, Coachella Talent Burrow
Academic Review

“After exhaustive study, the Blur Jean Committee can confirm that this single track captures the full Hogan spectrum: sports, cheese, charity bikes, and catastrophic legwear. Our work here is done.”

Dr. Lance P. Denim Chair, Department of Applied Jort-Studies
Family Systems Research

“It’s rare to see a single artifact so perfectly encode family dynamics, sibling laughter, and mild parental strain. We recommend annual replays at holidays.”

Dr. Paige F. Therapist Hogan Dynamics Research Lab

Jorts World Tour

Limited engagements. Extremely limited shorts.

Jorts World Tour Poster
Official Jorts World Tour poster. Frame it. Fear it.
Mar 2 · TCU “Lot C” Tailgate
Fort Worth, TX
“The Legendary First Appearance of the Jorts.”
Mar 9 · Pi Kapp Basement (Acoustic Jorts Set)
TCU Campus
Free if you bring cheese.
Mar 15 · Kansas City BBQ Fest Stage
Kansas City, MO
Hogan demanded a Chiefs-colored spotlight.
Mar 23 · The Chicago Crew Reunion
Chicago, IL
Florida/Colorado/Texas boys invited out of courtesy.
Apr 1 · “Just Jorts” Pop-Up Store
Grapevine Mills Mall
Opening day. No returns. Ever.
Apr 20 · Lake House Dock Show (Sunset Edition)
Somewhere With a Boat Ramp
BYOJ: Bring Your Own Jorts.